Jesus house

Today I helped in the serving line at Jesus House. This is a shelter providing services for the homeless and recovering in Oklahoma City. There were a few volunteer faces from the City Rescue service and some new faces. It was very gratifying again. All of the workers and people kept telling us how much they appreciated us and kept thanking us. I heard so many enthusiastic asalamu ailakoms from people being served. It was actually really cute. It's their way of reaching out and saying "hey I know something about you!" I just want to know where they learned it. I had to leave before we cleaned up so there were some people loitering around outside. A lady came up to me and briefly wanted to chit chat. She stood at my truck window asking me about this and that. It was nice to talk to a friendly stranger. I noticed the people at Jesus House seemed to be more destitute than the people at City Rescue Mission. Again this was very humbling for me. I also learned that these service projects are part of a bigger project that started last Ramadan. 30 projects in 30 days. These projects include service to the community, events at masjids, Governor's iftar, 30 mosque interviews, and other projects that can be scheduled in.

This great time came after a bad experience yesterday. I went to 711 to pull money out of the ATM. A person was parked across 4 parking spots waiting for someone to come out. I waited for 45 seconds before politely honking my horn to let the person know I was there. Instead of politely moving the person honked back and started to flail their arms wildly and did not move. I pulled my rather large truck in front of them and parked. As I walked into the store this guy starts yelling racial obscenities at me. So being Rebecka I said some rather unflattering things back. Everyone around just stared at me open mouthed. I apologized but couldn't help laughing inside because people just don't expect #1 for you to say anything back #2 for someone in scarf to say those kinds of things. Now I know this is not the way to be in Ramadan. It's not the character of a muslim woman etc. etc.. I don't need to be reminded. However, the kind of people who act like that in public are not going to respond to muslims dancing around throwing flowers in the air singing peace. They need to know I can and will stand up for myself on a level they can understand. I have been in a couple of physical fights with people who have taken it to that level. I have had several verbal fights with people who have taken it to that level. I will go there when pushed. It does take a lot. I used to feel bad about this. One day I brother I used to work closely with explained that some people are fighters. He said many of the sahaba fought often. Not just in big battles but also standing up for themselves and other Muslims. I don't know if thats true but I related to it. Honestly, I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of being a beacon of religion. I just want to wear my scarf and not have to explain it.

Staying home

This is the first Ramadan I have stayed home. I haven't been to any social events or the masjid for taraweh. It has been the least stressful and most fullfilling Ramadan yet because it has been simple. I complicate my life too much and make extra problems and stresses for myself. Taraweh at the masjid is too late this year for Ali to get up for school and myself to get up for work. I have had the peace of doing it at home by myself. This has also led me to reflect more deeply in what I am reading during this time instead of trying to keep up with the Imam reciting or worrying about what Ali is doing and who is yelling at him. There is wisdom in all of our religion and I have now understood the wisdom behind women performing prayers at home. It's not sexist it makes things easier for those who have home responsibilities. I do miss seeing the youth run around the masjid and the eager faces of the fasting waiting to break fast but al hamdullah I am having a great time nonetheless.