O assembly of those who have believed with their tongues, but into whose hearts faith has not yet reached! Do not backbite the Muslims, nor seek out their secrets! For, whoever seeks out the faults of his brother, Allah will seek out his secrets. And, whoever has his secrets sought out by Allah, Allah will disgrace him, even [if he hides] in the depths of his house. [Abu Dawud in al-Adab, 4/271, #4880]
"Beware of backbiting, for backbiting is more serious than adultery. A man may commit adultery, and drink [wine], and then repent, and Allah will forgive him. But, the backbiter will not be forgiven by Allah until his [backbited] companion forgives him." [Suyuti, Al-Jami` as-Saghir, 1/174, #2919, from Ibn Abid-Dunya, and Abush-Shaykh, Al-Tawbikh.]
Ahh the trap of gossip. I have long known that with certain people I know the conversation will revolve around other people. Mostly the bad things about other people. I am focusing on learning how to avoid or redirect the conversation. This is going to be my main focus this Ramadan. I think this is a major downfall for myself ... listening and engaging in.
In the past I have tried to avoid pople because of this tendency for evil speech. Now I am getting more mature and learning how to redirect conversation. I am looking for exampples and models to follow. I have one sister that I am asking to sit with and explore how she maintains a beneficial conversation with her sisters.
I am usually a quite person. I read a hadith that mentioned staying quite instead of participating in vain talk. I want to be able to also stop vain talk. I just feel so rude and some what self righteous to remind others but I am focusing on my flaws and looking for Allah to cover or excuse my sins on judgement day.
What about you? Do you have that group or person you vent to or release to? Are you ready to change that this Ramadan? Insha'allah make the intention. Let your friends know. Ask them for their support and gentle reminders. Let's help each other become better Muslims this year.
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